I love khmer

Bridesmaid in a Cambodian wedding!

Months before I left Cambodia last year, my friend Kompheak was already planning to get married and telling me I should come. I told her I had no idea where I'd be in a year, but I would try my best to make the wedding! Then last September I was so honored to receive a phone call all the way from Cambodia, with Kompheak asking me again not only to attend the wedding but to be a bridesmaid (she didn't even know the word in English!).

I arrived back in Asia, to the Philippines, two and a half months before her wedding. She still was not sure if they had enough money saved for the wedding, but finally they decided for sure in March, and I bought my plane ticket from Manila to Phnom Penh. Interestingly, the date for the wedding, April 25 was exactly the day one year ago I had left Cambodia!

After spending a couple days in Phnom Penh catching up with old friends, Friday evening another friend Ratana took me on the back of her motorcycle on the one-hour drive out to Kompheak's provincial village. We were so thankful that the torrential afternoon storm had subsided in time! When we arrived, Kompheak's house was a-buzz with dozens of friends, relatives, and church members busily preparing for the celebration. When I finally found Kompheak with the girls upstairs, we got only a little bit of time to catch up after not seeing each other for a year.

Around 9pm the pastor called everyone downstairs, and we all gathered around the couple to pray for them. It was their way of dedicating all the ceremony and celebration to God before it all took place! And we could all engage our hearts in praying for and supporting the couple.

We finally got to sleep around 11, but at 4am it was rise and shine to start getting ready! Ceremonies typically start at 7am. One good thing about being in the bridal party is I didn't have to worry about my own make-up, hair and dresses! Kompheak's sister started on my face right away, to transform me into the epidomy of Khmer beauty!

A typical modern, Christian wedding in Cambodia entails about 6-7 ceremonies. I got a quick run-down in English but I can't remember all the details and significance of what went on in each ceremony. I know that the first one is about the presentation of fruit from the groom's family to the bride's family. The guests process traditionally from the grooms house, carrying pre-arranged plates of fruit, and as they enter the ceremony area the fruit is all placed banquet-style on huge floor mats. In the proceeding ceremony the bride and the groom honor and bless their parents. The whole thing lasts for about an hour (the first ceremony). Then there is a break for breakfast, but of course that was the photo time for us!

The rest of the morning entailed a few more ceremonies, each with its own meaning and significance. We changed our dresses for one of them. Then around 1pm we were finished and had about a 2-hour break. The evening part is typically more of the party/celebration. From about 4 to 6, we, the bridal party, greeted the guests as they came in. After we got a chance to eat something ourselves, it was time to change dresses again for the 4th and final time! After dinner was the Christian ceremony, which is much more like an American wedding. The couple prayed for their parents and vice versa, which brought tears to many (very uncommon in Khmer culture). Then, the couple washed the feet of their parents and also washed each others' feet. At some point there was a lighting of the unity candle, too. Also, interestingly enough, for the night ceremony, not only the bride, but the bridesmaids all wore white dresses! Finally, we all went over to the dance area and did a few final rituals--cutting of the cake (except they used fruit) and first dance. Also during that time guests could come up and ask the new couple questions in front of everyone, like--when do you want to start having kids? and, where are you going on your honeymoon? Everyone seemed quite entertained but after 14 hours on our feet, we were ready to get changed! As soon as they started the first dance, the bridesmaids all snuk out to the house to change into more comfortable clothes for "dancing." But, we were all so exhausted we only made it through a couple songs.

Overall I had a really fun day. I got to see many of the folks I used to work with at the Bridge, including Lina who has since gotten married and had quit work. Although it was a long day, I really enjoyed being an active part of a significant day in my friends' life. I had heard stories of bridesmaids fainting or bursting into tears from all the stress, but I never got to that point!